I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
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Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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