I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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