either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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