I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
