Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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