I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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