am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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