No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
