my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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