He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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