Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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