do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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