end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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