Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
