she was so not down for the gang bang
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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