I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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