Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
