i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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