You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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