I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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