i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just tell him i said nine months
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
