...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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