She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
