I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
