they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
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Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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