But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
