the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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