I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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