yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
