I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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