dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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