I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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