When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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