She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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