plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
