Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
