the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i now understand why vodka
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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