i need an iv and a liver transplant
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
