high people should be assigned attendants
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
