after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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