Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
