Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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