I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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