So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
