Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
