I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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