Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Vodka?
Forever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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