the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
