I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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