..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
