I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We need to rekindle our bromance
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
