**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
