when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
