3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am puke
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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