she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He shit in the fireplace
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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