I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Alive.
So much puke
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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