she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
